Humor:Performance evaluations

>Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in
>all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she/he keeps
>cranking out.
>
>AVERAGE: Not too bright.
>EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.
>ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.
>ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
>CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
>UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
>QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
>TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.
>TAKES ADVANTAGE OF EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.
>INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.
>STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.
>TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
>APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.
>A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
>NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.
>EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
>SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
>CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
>METICULOUS IN ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
>DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
>JUDGMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
>MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
>KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
>STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
>GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.
>SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.
>OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
>IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no-one else.
>ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
>REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
>HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.
>ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do.
>HAPPY: Paid too much.
>WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.
>COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
>CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass.
>WILL GO FAR: Relative of management.
>SHOULD GO FAR: Please.
>USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
>VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
>USES RESOURCES WELL: Delegates everything.
>DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to make him/her feel appreciated.
>