> > Due to the political season...this is funny......... > > Crossing the River Jordan]] > > > > > > > > > GOTTA ENJOY THEM WHILE WE CAN!!! > > > > > > > > Bill Clinton, Al Gore and George W. Bush died and found > > > > themselves standing…

> > Professional Horoscopes > > > > > 1) MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a > marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, > concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is > pretty much what your job …

> > >At last, error messages that calm the spirit. > > > Tokyo, Japan > > > Sony has announced its own computer operating > > >system, now available on its hot new portable PC > > >called the Vaio. > > >Instead of producing the cryptic err…

> > >> Haiku Error Messages: >> >Three things are certain: >> >Death, taxes, and lost data. >> >Guess which has occurred. >> >- - - - - - - - - - - - >> >Everything is gone; >> >Your life's work has been destroyed. >> >Squeeze trigger (yes…

>StoP tHE LogGINg oR wE WiLl coNtInUE To KILl oNe CeleBrITY EacH WeEK. theRe ARe nO SkIinG "aCciDenTS". >FROM: THE TREES

>Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in >all those glowing employee work performance evaluations she/he keeps >cranking out. > >AVERAGE: Not too bright. >EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major …

10. Mariner 1 Venus probe loses its way: 1962 A probe launched from Cape Canaveral was set to go to Venus. After takeoff, the unmanned rocket carrying the probe went off course, and NASA had to blow up the rocket to avoid endangering lives…

>YESTERDAY > >Yesterday, >All those backups seemed a waste of pay. >Now my database has gone away. >Oh I believe in yesterday. > >Suddenly, >There's not half the files there used to be, >And there's a milestone >hanging over me >The system…

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing round the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please". The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage…

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the…

>Bill Gates meets Satan. > > "Wiiiiilliam Gaaaates..." > > "Oh, hi, Satan. What's up downstairs?" > > "It's tiiiiime..." > > "Yeah, but we're still debugging Memphis, and Ballmer swears > he'll wipe out Adobe before lunch, and Melinda want…

In cartoons, to show that a person is sleeping "zzzz" is used. But Microsoft thinks this sound is for a different purpose or it thinks we always go to bed for a different reason. Type 4 z's in a new word document, ie zzzz, and then run a s…