Bill Gates meets Satan.

>Bill Gates meets Satan.
>
> "Wiiiiilliam Gaaaates..."
>
> "Oh, hi, Satan. What's up downstairs?"
>
> "It's tiiiiime..."
>
> "Yeah, but we're still debugging Memphis, and Ballmer swears
> he'll wipe out Adobe before lunch, and Melinda wants to change
> the tile in the third-floor kitchen again, and..."
>
> "Sorry, Bill. I've given you too many extensions already, not
> to mention the Oracle8 launch event disaster, not to mention
> Steve Jobs' head on a platter."
>
> "Yeah, that was a good one. I think you enjoy this as much as
> I..."
>
> "Regardless, a deal's a deal. Your soul is mine, Bill Gates.
> And today is the day you pay your eternal debt to me."
>
> "Now, let's be reasonable here, Satan..."
>
> "Reasonable?!? You want reasonable?!? You're the richest man
> in the world! You've got a beautiful wife and daughter!
> Microsoft is the most powerful company on the planet! We're even
> using NT to run hell's WAN server! And frankly, it sucks.
> That's one of the reasons I've come to collect. If you can't get
> my network to run right, you'll spend the afterlife writing
> Windows applications that run on doorbells..."
>
> "What's your alternative, Satan? Netware? AppleTalk? OS/2?
> You're a funny guy for someone who breathes fire."
>
> "Well, God is porting all his heaven-critical applications to
> Java..."
>
> "Java?!? Stop it, Satan. You're going to make me wet my pants
> again like that time you told me to buy Novell for $50 a share."
>
> "Yes, Java, running on Sun servers, IBM plumbing and Oracle
> databases with thin clients accessing the apps via the web
> through Netscape Navigator."
>
> "That's not a solution, that's one of those Grimm's fairy tales
> that scare children to death. I have yet to see an NC actually
> being used to do anything except crash during demonstrations.
> Look, Java is a nice little language for animating web sites, but
> Shockwave after too many espressos isn't going to displace
> Windows as an applications platform on hundreds of millions of
> PCs."
>
> "Nevertheless, Java is the future of computing, and I'll be
> damned if
> I'm going to give God a strategic technology advantage!"
>
> "Satan, what if I told you I could kill off Java with a single
> word?"
>
> "Interesting. Tell me more."
>
> "Wait a minute. What's in it for me?"
>
> "I promise I won't turn you into Larry Ellison's bidet right
> this second."
>
> "Okay, that works for me. Here's the word...disable."
>
> "Disable what?"
>
> "Disable Java support in Internet Explorer."
>
> "You mean Microsoft's web browser won't run Java anymore?"
>
> "That's right, brimstone breath. You want to run Java, give
> Netscape 50 bucks per seat and pray that IBM doesn't buy the
> company to merge Communicator with Lotus Notes."
>
> "The Department of Justice will..."
>
> "Will what? Punish me because I won't support a product my
> enemies want to use to destroy my company? Chevrolet dealers
> don't have to sell Fords. Pepsi's restaurants don't have to
> offer Coke. Why does Microsoft have to support Java?"
>
> "It's an industry standard..."
>
> "It's an industry hallucination."
>
> "There will be a public outcry..."
>
> "From who? Network managers? MIS? The CIO? They're up to
> their nosehairs in Cobol getting ready for January 1, 2000. To
> them, Java is still a cute word for coffee."
>
> "What about all those spiffy applets on thousands of web sites?"
>
> "Microsoft owns 100 percent of the Apple and Windows preload
> market for browsers, and our overall share has gone from zero to
> half in two years. It's a safe bet most people will soon use IE
> for web access. If they come to a site that doesn't work because
> of Java, they'll simply jump to the next one. Trust me,
> developers will switch to ActiveX faster than you can say
> 'Playstation.'"
>
> "What about other platforms..."
>
> "Like Intel has competition?"
>
> "Interactive TV..."
>
> "We call it WebTV in Redmond."
>
> "Venture capitalists have invested billions..."
>
> "To get a date with Kim Polese."
>
> "Sun will write a plug-in..."
>
> "Not without the hidden APIs."
>
> "Of all my minions, you are my very favorite, Bill. You may
> stay."
>
> "Thanks, Satan. Now, about that Exchange license agreement..."
>